New Year New Me?

No pictures for this post, sadly, but still plenty of stuff worth reading about! So the whole new year new me saying? I think it's crap. That saying has always kind of bugged me. Why wait for a new year to be a completely different person? I've made the decision to improve myself several times, haven't always stuck with it, but this time I kind of have to. I am a 22 year old (not for much longer!) single woman, living in Rexburg, Idaho. To most people that doesn't mean much, to those who have been here, they know it's practically old maid status, and you're surrounded by THOUSANDS of couples! Normally, I don't mind, but there are definitely days where I think it would be nice to be part of a two-some. Anyhow, so the point of all of that extraneous background information was to make the point that, I have decided BECAUSE I am still single, that I may as well use this time to make improvements on myself.

I have struggled for years with low self-esteem. I think this is a common problem with most young women. I made some stupid choices as a teenager, which we will not get into because that is nobody's business but mine. Haha however, when I went to BYU-Idaho for the first time and met this wonderful amazing girl who was such a wonderful example to me, she inspired me to change my life around. I decided to be a different person than who I was in high school. I'm not saying it was an easy path, but it was the best path I have ever taken. I decided to be a different person, because I didn't like who I was before. I didn't like being so unsure of myself, being angry for dumb reasons, and making some poor choices. As I've grown into the person I want to be, I haven't taken time to really evaluate where I'm at. I'd been so busy just getting through college that I didn't really think, what am I learning about myself?

I think that was really one major benefit of moving home last winter. I got to spend some down time with my family. I also got to really figure out where I want to go in life, and who I want to be. I faced some opposition in going home, not from my parents but from other people. Some hurtful things were said, some feelings were hurt, and resistance came up. However, I learned that I need to do what is best for me. Others may not always like it, but if I feel it is best for me, and if I feel this is the path that God wants me to take, then that's what it has to be. I need to rely on me more. I've gotten so used to relying on my family for everything that I sometimes let them make decisions for me. I can't do that anymore. So that's one thing on my list.

I think this past semester at BYU-Idaho was really good for me. I had some amazing and wonderful experiences that really validated my being here, again. I'm where I need to be, I'm learning things I need to know, and I'm becoming the me I want to be. So here's my thinking. If I feel I need to change, I'm not going to wait for a whole entire year to pass before I decide to do something about it. No hesitation. If I feel I need to make a change in my life, then I will. I feel like I'm rambling, this is just my thought process though! Haha sorry. But I kind of just write all this down as I think about it. Back to the topic at hand though, who am I and who do I want to be?

I want to be better. I want to be a better daughter, sister, and student. I want to be better in saying my prayers, in reading my scriptures, and in my attitude towards others. This is still something I'm struggling with. Especially this semester. I can tell there's one girl living with me, who's just going to bug me. So I'm trying to be nicer to her. Anyhow, I want to be a better server. I don't think I take time enough to serve people, or look for ways to serve people, so I want to be better at that. I want to be more active. Because I have to eat a low-fat diet now, (lack of a gallbladder will do that to a person) I want to make the best of it. I want to be healthier, so as such, I am eating healthier, and now I'm going to exercise! (And hope and pray it becomes a habit!) I want to not be a doormat. I don't want people to view me as someone they can walk all over, as they have in the past. I am not that person anymore. I do let people take advantage of me, sometimes, and I know I do, and I hate it. So, I'm not going to be that girl anymore. I want to be confident. This one is going to take a while. Confidence doesn't develop over night, and the more a girl is rejected the harder it is for her to hold her head up high and feel like she's a beautiful person. But I truly feel like God has someone and something very special for me in my future. So, I need to be patient and walk tall. I want to be a better friend. I'm really lazy sometimes, and so because I don't want to go out, I'll cancel plans with friends. It makes me look like a flake, and feel like a jerk. I don't want people to think that I don't keep my word. So I will be better about that.

There are so many more things that I feel I should work on but for the purposes of this blog, I think we'll wrap up my "what I want to be." Last but certainly not least, I want to choose to be happy. My Aunt Lucy has this sign in her bathroom. It says, "We tend to seek happiness, when happiness is actually a choice." So, I will choose to be happy. I will do my utmost to "turn my frowns upside down", and "keep on the sunny side of life." While I'm at it, I'm mentally changing all of these "I want's" to "I'm going to." I can want something all the livelong day, but that doesn't actually guarantee that I'll do something about it. Well, that's going to change. I'm going to make an actual physical list of all of these, put it somewhere where I can see, and do something each day to make more progress towards my goal of being a better person. This semester is going to be an interesting one in many different ways. I'm learning a lot in all of my classes especially about the family. But I will be able to say at the end of the semester, that I worked as hard as I could, I made some really fun memories, and I worked to be a better me. I know that God loves me, and I know I haven't realized my full potential yet. I don't want to leave this Earth not having realized my full potential. So, I will make this list, and I will work towards seeing it fulfilled, and I will be able to say that I am proud of myself, and I have made my family proud of me.

Finals and Christmas!

I finished out the semester strong and I was so proud of myself! I can honestly say that I have never worked that hard in school at any point before in my life. It really payed off! I was so proud of myself! I had to wake up at 6 in the morning for a final one day, but it was worth it because I got all of my finals done that day and was able to just spend the next day relaxing and getting ready to go home! Before the semester ended however, my roommates and I took roommate pictures, and they turned out really well, and it was a ton of fun! I really miss those girls!

I was so incredibly excited to go home! mostly because I hadn't seen my mom since September. Being that my mom is my absolute best friend, it is so hard to be away from her. So, to go home and see her was so exciting for me! AND I GOT TO GO HOME AND MEET MY SWEETIE PEANUT! Haha okay, so one of my best friend's from back home had a baby about a week before I was going home for Christmas break. Let me tell you, when your best friend is in labor, and you know your godson could be born any minute, it is sooooo hard to focus! However, she got through it like a champ and at 7:13 pm Steven Alexander Rodriguez, AKA Peanut, was born. He weighed 8 lbs. 11 oz. and was 20 inches long, and the first picture I saw of him had me balling like a baby. How grateful I was for this little miracle sent to her family from God. I felt so bad, because when I got home I was just so exhausted from working so hard that entire semester that I didn't want to see anybody! Haha add to that the fact that almost everyone in my family was sick or getting sick, and well that doesn't make much desire to go out and socialize.

I bought him this outfit!

Mom and Alex

Already in love

Baby and Daddy! They look soo similar!

Fresh out of the bathtub, nice and snuggly

So, we left Rexburg at 5 in the morning on the 15th, and I was sooo glad to have left that early! I was exhausted from having pulled an almost all-nighter, so I slept the majority of the way. Also, major props to my baby sister Taylor for staying up as late as I did, even later! So that I would make sure to wake up and not miss my ride, because I had done that my freshman year at Thanksgiving. Taylor and Carolina also walked with me to my ride's apartment, so I didn't have to walk all alone in the cold at 4:45 in the morning. Haha I was VERY appreciative! So we left Rexburg and had GREAT weather the entire trip! I was so grateful! It was a blessing from God for sure! We got home around 2:30 or so in the afternoon Washington time.

Oh but we had an interesting experience when we stopped in Baker City, Oregon. We were paying for gas and then we were going to leave when all of a sudden the cashier asked where we were from. So we say we're from Washington, to which he replies, "Are you guys enjoying the new laws over there?" Referring mainly to the legalization of marijuana, and we all just kind of looked at him and had to laugh a little, because here are these three Mormon kids who just left the bubble of Rexburg, Idaho, and there was no more obvious sign of that then this guy asking us if we were enjoying being legally able to smoke weed. Blake, the guy who drove, answered him by saying that we haven't been home much to enjoy it, and I think that was the best answer any of us could really come up with, although none of us smoke. It was just so odd, random, and funny. We were laughing about it for the rest of the trip home. It was incredibly unexpected but very very funny.

I loved being home though. Being so surrounded by my family and being able to just veg all day every day was beautiful. My goal for the break was to read the entire Work and the Glory series. The series is 9 books long and most of the books are comparable to the size of Harry Potter books, maybe a little smaller. I made it through all but 2 of the books! Seeing my grandparents was so fun, especially, it was really sad though because they were really sick while I was there. Thankfully, they've gotten better since, but I was sad that they weren't feeling well. Christmas Eve was spent, as usual at Aunt Lucy's house. The house was CRAZY full of people! There was my family, Lucy's family, Marcia's family, and two of the Winters' family. I think there were around 40 people there. The house was full to capacity of people. It was crazy hot, but soo much fun! It was so fun to see all of my family and to be able to catch up with them! I even got to take a picture with my cousin Megan, who is one of my favorite people!

Me and Megan

Me and my siblings on Christmas Eve in our new pj's!

Christmas day was spent at home, which was REALLY weird! We normally spend the day at our grandparents' house opening gifts, and showing what our parents gave us, and talking and eating and having a lot of fun. However, because my grandparents were sick, we stayed home. Which was fun, but I still would have loved to spend that day with my whole family. I got so many fun gifts for Christmas but the best gift of all was being able to spend so much time with my family. I missed my sister Mallory so much, and my brother Blake. It did my heart a lot of good to be able to be with them. New Year's Eve also brought a break with tradition. We usually go over to my Aunt Marcia's house and play games, eat and wait for the New Year, but this year because my stomach was acting up and Taylor wasn't feeling well, we stayed home. We watched some movies, talked and snuggled and it was so much fun. I absolutely loved every minute of being home. Which made leaving a thousand times harder. The break seemed to go by so fast, and I felt like I wasn't getting enough time at home, that I needed so much more. I think part of that was because I hadn't come back to school last winter, so my heart and in many ways my body wanted to stay. The night before I left I cried saying good night to my mom, and then the next morning I cried saying good bye as she went off to work. She was better about it than me, though. She told me to just act like it's another day and that she'll see me after work, so I tried to pretend but my heart still hurt. To make matters worse, I hadn't slept much that night, and my stomach was hurting when I woke up, and I started to get a fever and chills right before we left. However, I made it through the trip okay, and the roads going back were clear, and the weather was good as well. We got back at around 8 pm Idaho time and I was exhausted! Especially because I didn't sleep at all during the ride back. However, we got back safe and sound, and even though it was sub zero temperatures, I was still glad to be back, in some ways.

Yuletide Amazing-ness!

So, from what I remember, I last said I wasn't going home for Thanksgiving. What a different experience that was! To spend several days and a major holiday with a family that isn't yours. It was a worthwhile experience though. I got to spend several days with two of my best friends. I don't have any pictures from this time, but I have plenty of mental pictures. I was able to talk, laugh, and reminisce with two ladies who hold a very special place in my heart, and that was fun. It was hard to be away from family, but it was a good experience to see how other people do Thanksgiving. We even went Black Friday shopping! Boy was that an experience! First, we went to this second hand store called Lily's Too, which was AMAZING! We went there to shop for dresses for the Jane Austen Yule Ball. I had asked my date a little less than two weeks before the dance. Let me backtrack a little and tell you that story! 

So there is this guy from my home ward up here at BYU-Idaho, and he and I have been good friends for a long time, and I wondered if I should ask him to the dance. So, I texted his older sister and asked if she could do some reconnaissance for me. She was so helpful to me! She called him and in a very sneaky way asked if he would be interested in going to this dance. He answered by saying it sounded interesting, but that it would be something he'd most likely want to take a good friend or family member to. Then came the decision of HOW to ask him. Do I do something extravagant? Or do I do something simple and kind of funny? I knew for sure I didn't want to ask him face to face because that would be way too nerve-wracking! So, I ended up looking on the internet for ideas as to how to ask him. I saw this idea that said to put an invitation in a box, wrap it up like a gift and leave a note saying you'd be honored by so and so's "presents" (presence) with you at insert name of event or dance here. I think I was still torn between this idea and one other, but I ended up going with the box idea. Then begins the search for everything I'd need for this epic invitation. I texted his older sister again, and asked her to inquire as to his favorite types of candy or candy bars, and she got back to me, but he was very non-specific about what he liked so I had to guess. Anyhow, the adventure started at Porter's.

This is the finished product! Look how pretty it is!

I had a friend of mine give me a ride all over town basically! We first went to Porter's in the hopes of finding some sort of box or wrapping paper with which to decorate the box. We asked at one of the checkout desks, and they had a box exactly the size I needed. Then we went to Broulim's, a local grocery store, and bought candy bars, wrapping paper, ribbons and tissue paper. Then I came home and was at a loss as to how to wrap it. I am not gift wrapping savvy! But luckily my roommate Tashina, and my friend Merri, who funny enough is the guy's sister, helped me wrap the gift. What we ended up realizing was that I bought green cellophane, NOT wrapping paper, so we basically had to use the entire roll to get it to be less see-through! Haha anyhow, Tashina and Merri decorated it BEAUTIFULLY! So we stuffed it with candy,  and I wrote a note in the box saying, "I'd be honored by your "presents" with me at the Jane Austen Yule Ball, on Friday November 30, 2012. Yule have a great time so check yes or no and send a note back to Jen Kendall." The next day I took it to my sister-in-law Nicole, who manages the apartment complex he lives in. She then dropped it off at his apartment (except he wasn't there to receive it!), but I received a note the next day and he checked yes!! Oh I was so excited when I read that! I really did not think he was going to say yes! Haha


So he said yes, and the adventure of dress shopping began! I looked online and found several dresses I REALLY liked, BUT they all shipped from China. So, I thought to myself, better safe than sorry! I'm actually really glad I waited to go dress shopping with Candice and Kristi, because not only was it so much fun, and I discovered an awesome second hand store in Idaho Falls, but I also found a dress that I LOVED and it was only around $25. What a steal! Then we went to lunch at this diner, and I had a roast beef sandwich with au jus, and now I really want another one! Haha it was really good! After lunch we went to the mall in Idaho Falls, and I looked around for some new jeans, but didn't find any that I liked, I also was too lazy to change into any pants that I did see that I liked. Haha but I was worried about finding a sweater to go over my dress, because it needed one, however, we went to Ross, and I found this fun sparkly hat that I wore around the entire store, and I also found a sweater for $11 that was PERFECT for my dress! We went to Claire's for accessories of course, and I found a pair of beautiful sparkly, dangly earrings and some nice long gloves to wear with the dress! We went back to Candice and Kristi's house and had a fashion show for her parents, and then I went back to Rexburg the next day. Spent some time with Tashina and her brother who came to visit. Who was a really cool guy.

The silver sparkly hat!

Then the next Monday it was crunch time! Time to decide hair and makeup and all that other fun stuff. Except I was sick that entire week! My stomach felt awful! I was so scared I wouldn't be able to go to the dance because I felt so gross! Friday came around and I had felt fine, until I came home from classes. I got home from classes, and all of a sudden I had fever, chills, and nausea like none other! I called my mom after I got out of the shower, balling because I didn't know if I could go. My mom told me, "Do you want to cancel this date?" I said, "NO!!!!" She said, "Well then you just gotta deal with it. Just put on the dress, get ready for the dance, say a prayer and I'm sure you'll be fine." Well she was right! I was so nervous I soon forgot all about feeling gross! Haha we went to dinner with a group of friends, in my apartment lounge, and it was really good. It was a lot of fun actually. I was nervous that it would seem weird or not be fun, but the dinner and the dance itself were SO much fun! Even my date kept saying he was having fun. I was so glad I had asked him before Thanksgiving though, because his FHE sisters decided to ask his whole apartment to the dance that Monday! But I had prior claim so he went with me! :) That whole night was so much fun, and I'd love to do it again in a heartbeat! I was so glad that he had fun, and that I made it through the night! I felt terrible for the rest of the weekend, but I made it through the night, had so much fun, and wasn't bothered by anything. And the rest of this post will be dedicated to pictures from the dance and our shopping adventure!

Me and my date Jefferson

In front of the Christmas tree at my apartment

  

 

All of the dinner group, minus my best friend Candice and her boyfriend Helaman, they had to come from American Falls, so they weren't quite ready for pictures yet.